I knew what was coming for a week but I just continued doing the missionary work i could regardless of the physical and emotional pain I was in. My companion Nelson Shimai was such an amazing person during that time. I cannot begin to say all the ways she helped me and served me during this tough time. A few of them include preparing all my meals for me, cleaning up after me, laying out my futon, carrying my temporary wheelchair up and down the apartment staircase and then pushing me all over Ube, and that is just a small portion of the list. If you ever get a chance to meet her or work with her in Japan then you are very lucky. She is one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever met. Parting with her was not easy when the inevitable happened. I was sent home on medical release because of my broken foot. But although this upset me I was speechless at one little miracle amidst this trial.
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Positive Item #1 While in japan I had to go to the biyoin (clinic/hospital type place) The night of the accident we saw a big break in the middle of my foot and I was sent home in a splint and given crutches. The next two times I went I was told that the first doctor was wrong and my foot was actually broken in the metatarsels. I was upset about this for days. Where was my foot really broken? Why am I hearing two different things from 3 different doctors? But then I took a step back. The first doctor that night DID NOT see the original break. He mistook a joint for a break. Had he not mistaken that, I might have been sent home diagnosed with just having a bad bruise and maybe some strain. That would have been even worse. It was a very humbling moment.
Positive Item #2. While traveling home it took me a total of 48 hours including flight and layover time. It was so long. I literally lived the same day twice. Towards the very end I missed my last flight and had to wait an hour and a half before the next one left. But, I met two people that I would not have had I caught the earlier flight. Two sister missionaries getting ready to head home after serving in Europe! It was great to get to see some fellow sisters and chat with them a bit. It brightened my day and gave me something to smile about.
Positive Item #3 I got to be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my 21st birthday. I got to spend time with my family during the holidays, see my best friend Kailey while she is pregnant with her first child, my amazing friend Victoria before she left for the MTC for her mission, and my great friend Nancy when she came to my home town to visit from college.
This healing process is slow and trying but I know that good will come out of it. I was on crutches for a month, and then constantly in a walking boot for almost a month. I am now in the process of trying to walk again. It is hard and kind of painful but I am pushing through and trying my best. This is the second time I have been sent home on medical release. It is much harder this time around because I am not 100% sure what it is that I am supposed to do. The path is not clear and that makes things hard. The Lord knows each and every one of us perfectly. He knows what we should do in our life and what will lead us to happiness and ultimately to live with Him again someday. We just have to learn to trust Him and accept His will. He does not always give us the answers we want right away but they will come in His own time and in His own way.
A quote that has been said to me multiple times from different independent sources is that sometimes we just have to step out of the light and into the dark with faith, trusting that the Lord will light up our way. I testify that trials make us stronger and they bring you closer to your Savior Jesus Christ and your loving Heavenly Father. He often requires waiting on our part and this is an excellent time to develop patience, a rare and precious virtue. I know the Lord loves me and I know he loves you more than you can possibly imagine. I may not know what my next step is going to be just yet, but I know that if I turn my will completely over to the Lord and trust Him that He will guide me to the right one for me and my life. No matter what your trial is, He will do the same for you.
